Smart Words of the English Language

Joke: Understanding the differences between Men and Women - and their expectations toward each other. In a version of the "I grant you one wish ..." story.
The statements made here do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the web page author.

Genie is the English term for the Arabic "jinn" (also "djinni" or "djini"). The word "jinn" literally means anything which has the connotation of concealment, invisibility, seclusion or remoteness.

Two lanes or four?

A young man was walking along one of Southern California's sandy beaches with his surf board. He suddenly spots this bottle which has recently washed up on the beach. It's obvious it's been tossed around for a long time. He picks up the bottle and notices that it still has the cork intact. So, being curious as to what may be inside, he manages to get the cork out and out pops a Genie.

After expressing profound appreciation for having been let out of the bottle, the Genie grants his benefactor the classic, "one wish" and it will be yours. Being an avid surfer, it doesn't take him long to say,
"I've always wanted to surf Hawaii, but I get seasick on ships and I'm afraid to fly. Would you build me a bridge to Hawaii?"

The Genie replies:
"Do you know what you are asking for? Do you know how long the bridge would have to be? Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. And the maintenance of that bridge! No, think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said,
"I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women ... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment ... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say nothing ... know how to make them truly happy ... I really want to understand women and how they think!"

After a long sigh, the Genie responds:
"Would you like that bridge with two lanes or four?"

Let me see that map again!

Joke: Alternative version for woman

The story is told of a woman walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman soon came back to her senses and asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said,
"Nope. . . due to inflation, constant downsizing, fierce global competition, and low wages in third-world countries, I can only grant you one wish. So, . . . what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said,
"I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other. "

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed,
"Gadzooks, Lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for centuries. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish. "

The woman thought for a minute and said,
"Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the house cleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for — a good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and said,
"Let me see that map again!"




The battle Apple versus Microsoft continues - into the field of Bio-Engineering.