Smart Words of the English Language

Althoug taken from a comedy series (or because), this small dialog is a wonderful "real-world" example, of how discussions about the Theory of Evolution are about to perform.

Evolution and God

Summary: When devout Christian Ned Flanders visits a museum, together with the Simpson family, he is shocked. The Springfield museum is promoting the theory of evolution (one exhibit is labeled "indisputable fossil records"). Flanders starts a campaign to have creationism taught in science class at the local school. This sets up a classic tug-of-war between him and more liberal thinkers - the foremost being Lisa Simpsons. She soon organizes an underground evolution class, and all hell breaks loose. She is arrested for "teaching non-Biblical science" and a two day trial starts.

Transcript - Text from The Simpsons

The Simpsons: The Monkey Suit / (No. 377) / First Aired: 14.5.2006 / Season: 17 Episode: 21

MUSEUM OFFICIAL: Sorry, folks, the weapons exhibit is now´closed for the day. Sorry, no way.

MUSEUM OFFICIAL: But you can all feel free to enjoy the rest of the museum.

EDIT: Enter the "Hall of Men"

NED FLANDERS: Evolution?

EDIT: Ned Flanders sees signs "MEN’S EARLY ANCESTORS", “INDISPUTABLE FOSSIL RECORDS",  “UNISEX BATHROOM" and is shocked, and uses his hands to cover his children eyes.

NED FLANDERS: Excuse me.

NED FLANDERS: How can you put up an exhibit on the origin of man and not have one mention of the bible?


EDIT: Song: What a fool believes ...  [Doobie Brothers style]

NED FLANDERS: My most cherished beliefs, a myth?

TODD FLANDERS: Daddy, was mommy a monkey? I can't remember.

NED FLANDERS: No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that.

TODD FLANDERS: But you said a stork brought me.

NED FLANDERS: Umm … that was God disguised as a stork.

ROD FLANDERS: Who brings baby storks?

NED FLANDERS: There's no such thing as storks! It's all God.

TODD FLANDERS (Kneeling beside a statue of a stork): Please bless daddy and mommy ...

NED FLANDERS: Stop praying to that stork!

EDIT: Sign: First church of Springfield / Today: Church council meeting / Topic: religion

NED FLANDERS: They're telling people we're descended from a pack of apes.

NED FLANDERS: Even though there's nothing about it in the bible.

REVEREND TIMOTHY LOVEJOY: Ned, you've got to take this thing with a grain of salt.


HELEN LOVEJOY: Tim, this controversy could put more meat in the seats.

REVEREND TIMOTHY LOVEJOY: Well ... our membership has been dwindling since those Episcopalians put in those vibrating pews.

HELEN LOVEJOY: Evolution is the hot-button issue. We need to mobilize our flock. They'll be hanging on your every word.

REVEREND TIMOTHY LOVEJOY: I'll be a white Al Sharpton.

EDIT: Both are kissing each other.

MELVIN VAN HORNE: Why does every church meeting end this way?

EDIT: Confrontation in Principal Seymour Skinner’s office:

NED FLANDERS: We want you to teach alternative theories to Darwinian evolution.

PRINCIPAL SEYMOUR SKINNER: You mean Lamarckian evolution?

REVEREND TIMOTHY LOVEJOY: No, the Adam and Eve one.


REVEREND TIMOTHY LOVEJOY: I believe you leased your Camry from Christian Brother’s auto.

EDIT: Reverend Lovejoy threats to burn the lease contract.

PRINCIPAL SEYMOUR SKINNER: No! That was a once-in-a-lifetime APR [=Annual Percentage Rate]!

PRINCIPAL SEYMOUR SKINNER: Class, starting today, we will be presenting an alternative theory on the origin of man.

EDIT: Teacher is writing "CREATIONISM" with chalk on the black board.

LISA SIMPSON: Creationism?! But that's not science.



EDIT: Later in the Court room:

Clarice Dremond: This trial is the biggest load of… Oh for crying out loud!

Wallace Bravy: Now Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mother? Evolution?! My my my ...…



I could not find a part of this episode on youtube, but found a website where you can watch it. Evolution versus Creationism - Simpsons Style.