» Divert your course … »

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier USS LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north.
I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call!

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.

A Prayer for the Stressed

Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage
to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom
to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.

Help me always to give 100% at work...
12% on Monday,
23% on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% on Thursday
and 5% on Friday

And help me to remember...

When I'm having a bad day
and it seems that people are trying to wind me up,
it takes 42 muscles to frown,
28 to smile
and only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone ...

 

Inside every partygoer … »

A very smart (and witty) description on what happens to your body and brain during a party (and the consequences for your body)

9.05 pm: Ears detect no sound coming from behind door. Ooze stress hormones. Cancel: vision reports one other coat hanging in hall.

[…]

9.30: Conversation drying up. Reopen memory store, select holiday reminiscences ... anecdote #3. Not that one. Too late - send blood to cheeks, switch on sweat glands, contract zygomaticus muscles and display apologetic grin. Develop sudden thirst.

[…]

1.03: Prolonged mutual eye contact achieved. Dilate pupils. Approach. Cortex: run charm program.

[…]

2.00: Ears report a reduction in background noise. Switch sweat glands onto standby. Blood caffeine levels rising. Re-engage cerebral cortex. Run earnest conversation program. Retrieve the following topics from the archives: solutions to world's problems, gender differences, existence of God.

[…]

Read the whole story in the archives of the New Scientist » Inside every partygoer

 

 

[Tales Of Mere Existence » "How To Break Up"]

A funny video (by Lev Yilmaz) on breaking up. Not to be taken seriously (you might get depressed).

 

Caveat: All generalizations are evil - and I have made more than a few in this little rant in an attempt to paint with broad brush strokes - please accept my apologies in advance.


Writing

What are transitions and how are they used? For learning english a list of » Transition Words is available. And also, a list of » 50 Rules for Writing Good , which uses a paradoxical approach.